Dear bro, you didn’t deserve to die, if only I knew then what I know now. If only this drug war wasn’t a war on people, if only they cared in the slightest bit about saving lives. It’s too late for you but I promise you I’m doing my best to help others and assure your death was not in vain. Systems of oppression that devalue drug users lives  will come tumbling down! I love you always, Dinah 

The biggest sweet potato-lover there ever was! Who else would pull a potato out of their purse? Only you. Kind and incredibly funny, your brightness is missed by all. Grateful to have shared everything we did while you were still here. I know you’re at peace, sweet cousin. 

Every time I see an old man on a bike, I think about you. How every day, I would come to work just in time to catch you on your way out to enjoy your day, riding around the city and participating in your community. Seeing your bike leaning against the wall in your apartment, the day we found you, brought on an emotion inside of me that was deeper than sad--it was a complicated feeling of regret, loss, empathy and melancholy. You were no fan of other humans, but that bike brought you the thing you loved the most: freedom.

This is my son, Nikolas. He was 23 when he was murdered by Fentanyl poisoning on 12-22-18. He was caught up in the Florida shuffle and died in a sober living home. Nik was full of adventure, talent, optimism and had a huge heart. He often helped others even when he was struggling. He wanted to live off of the land and was a free spirit. He volunteered the summer of his junior year in Namibia, Africa to help elementary aged kids set up organized sports. 
That experience had a profound effect on Nik.  He wanted to make a difference in this world. Nik was so much more than how he died and he will always be remembered for his compassion, musical talent, and the most beautiful blue eyes. His goal in life was to make people laugh, happy and feel good about themselves. 

Jeremy David Ott, was born on December 17, 1974 and tragically lost his life to an overdose on January 17,2020 at the age of 45. Jeremy was a son, uncle, brother, friend and his two favorites father and grandfather. Unfortunately, due to a motorcycle accident that made him have unbearable pain in his leg, he was prescribed OxyContin and liked so many others turned to heroin later down the road. Although he tried so hard to fight this addiction, it overcame him in this life. He was the most gentle and kind soul that you’d ever come across, had a heart as big as Texas and loved his family and friends more then he could ever say. I hope this message finds someone and makes them aware of the ongoing epidemic this country is in with addiction. My dads legacy will forever live on in my heart and I’ll never stop sharing his story. To other family’s of addicts, never forget to tell them how much you love them and to all the addicts suffering still, it is never too late to ask for help. I love you the stars and back dad, till we meet again in such a better place. Love, Meghan 

My daughter, Amanda died of an overdose on 02/10/20 after a ten-year battle with addiction.  Amanda’s story begins with being genetically predisposed to mental health and substance use disorders.  Both sides of her family have a history of depression, anxiety, alcoholism, and gambling.  In 2000, Amanda was injured playing in an adult soccer league.  
     After several years and cycles of probation, jail, and, four treatment programs, she was finally able to get into drug court, she did great with the structure.  The drug court put her in a 28-day program that she completed, but she relapsed again and was sent to another 28-day program.  This program was a dual diagnosis program, and she did well. She completed the program, IOP and OP. Amanda did this while having the support of the drug court team, working, and living at a shelter.  Amanda had a slip after 11 months, but promptly admitted it and then had 13 months of recovery before her death.   She is painfully missed by family, friends and her 3 children.  Amanda is forever 37.

Cole Schuler 02-11-89 - 11-09-2015  Forever 26….Miss you every day. miss not having you in our lives. Your infectious laugh, your smile that would light up a room with your presence, your love for life, your caring and generous personality will always remain fresh in our mind and losing you remains heavy upon our hearts. Always and forever….love you Cole…. Mom

Adam was gentle and kind and loved to make people laugh. When he was little, he loved Scooby Doo, Pikachu and Batman.  He enjoyed fishing, hiking, Frisbee golf, hanging with friends and had a PASSION for music. He loved to read books, write songs and poems. His favorite holidays were Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Adam was most proud when he was helping others.  He helped many people struggling with addiction. He made a difference to so many.

Adam had 3 siblings and a nephew he absolutely adored.  Adam attended school in North Fond du Lac and was in boy scouts, baseball and band.  He is known for always having a great big smile and an incredible laugh. He was a joy and a blessing. Adam was planning on attending college to pursue a degree in music.  He wanted to be a band director.

Adam is loved by his family and so many friends.  He is missed immensely.  Not a day goes by without thinking of him and wishing he was here. Love you Adam!

This is us. When we were young and carefree, brother and sister, not a care in the world, still rounded edges and wide eyes. Wish there was a way to go back and detour your path so that you could be here now and we could laugh at all the things that made us laugh, which sometimes was just laughing. People remember your laugh, and you making them laugh, and I'm most grateful for that. I wish there was stuff I didn't have to remember. I wish so many things. When you passed, I told everyone that your death would save others, and 18 years later, I can say it absolutely has. You are missed by many and I'm glad that every once in a while one my kids will look at me and I will see your face flicker by. Love you, Brother. 

My dear sweet brother, your love lives on. You are so deeply missed. I’m eternally grateful that I had the honor of being your sister. I wish we had 50 more years. Till we meet again. 

This is how I’ll always remember you, with that infectious smile. Time goes by, but I think of you often. Addiction isn’t fair. Loss isn’t fair. Mixing the two together is a tragedy and weight that is almost unbearable. I know those that love you carry you with us everyday (especially that smile). I can’t wait to find you in that champagne supernova in the sky and tell you everything I didn’t get the chance to while you were here. 28 physical years with you just was not nearly enough. 
Losing you will always be a wound to live with. But I’ll keep doing my best to stay away from the “what if’s” and just remember your beautiful and fun soul they way it was, before addiction took your life. See you on the next journey brother. Until we meet again! Xoxo

Joel was a son, brother, uncle & friend. He had a heart of gold & would give anyone who needed it the shirt off his back. He enjoyed the great outdoors including fishing & hunting. He also loved racing & demo derbies. This photo was taken at his best friend’s wedding, always the life of the party. 

Joel David Mutch, 2nd son, brother, Point Blank, so loved, gone too soon at 35. Brilliant artist, poet, musician, writer, a Master at "the Wordplay." Funny, sarcastic, quick, loyal to a fault. Origami Super Artist. How we miss you, Joel, and the fun you brought to the party. "I don't do it just to do it, I love each and every one of you. I make music, music makes me better, I'ma finish this thought if it takes me forever." Take all the time you want, Joelly. See you on the flipside.

I never thought that this would have been the last time I ever saw you, the last picture I was ever able to take of you.  You are my heart.  My love for you is eternal.  I miss you every day. I am proud to be your mom.

My "Baby" girl.  The smile, the love, the memories we shared are all in your daddy's, my mind and all of your siblings.  You were a joy from the day you were born.  How you were the glue in our family's lives.  I am so sorry you had to go thru so many horrible, heart wrenching times.  God took you because I believe he needed to save you.  I am at peace with that.  You are and always will be loved beyond belief.  Your Mommy Forever.............

We were 19 or 20 here, just babies. We rented a shit hotel room and got dolled up to take photos of each other. I know you would have had to so much to say about the state of pop culture today. You would have been so stoked about Rihanna’s pregnancy. We miss you all the time! Sleep easy.

Michael was a bright,  witty, and handsome young man. He was loyal, generous, and caring. He would not only give you the shirt off his back, but also give you an extra one just in case. He received his Master's degree and graduated with honors. He was only 31, and he was adored and loved by everyone.  His dazzling smile lit up the room. After an ACLU tear, he took pain killers, which led him down the wrong path of addiction. He OD'd twice with seven years between.  He was 2nd oldest of four boys and a girl, and his siblings were very close to him. He went to rehab in Florida,  and had drugs from mail orders and other addicts in rehab. His roommate OD'dthe week after Mike did. We all miss and love him so very much!

Megan Rose Kelley, Forever 22, was a beautiful young woman who loved to laugh and to share her stories. Megan lost her life on April 14, 2015 to a heroin overdose. Addiction NEVER defined Megan. She was looking forward to going back to school and to meet her twin nephews who were born 7 weeks after she died. Megan was nice to everyone, she was a great daughter and friend to everyone she met. People remember Megan for her unforgettable laugh. Megan is loved and is greatly missed by her family and friends. 

My sister Kelly died of a drug overdose on April 16, 2012.  She will always be remembered as a mom, a sister and a beloved friend and she is deeply missed.

Your candle burned bright but was extinguished way too soon. You are loved and missed my son. Joshua Olt age 16 died from a heroin overdose due to stigma and lack of harm reduction services. Through us your flame burns on and shines brilliantly on others suffering from substance use disorder. No stigma, no shame, no silence!!

Cade- you were and continue to be such a bright light! You are so deeply loved and missed by your family and friends. Your backflips, skateboard tricks, zest for life, love for chasing sunsets and the love and care your poured into everyone will never be forgotten and inspires us EVERY SINGLE DAY to BE THE LIGHT! 

You taught us to love unconditionally, to speak out when the time was right, and to be silent when it isn't. And, now that we try to fulfill your harm reduction dream of meeting people where they are at with no judgement, providing healthcare for those who are underserved and allowing people who are like you to make and support their own life decisions when they are ready - whatever that decision may be.  Most of all we miss watching you give horsey back rides to your nieces and nephews, your belly laugh, child-like sense of humor, and that sideways smile/raised eyebrow when we were on the wrong track. We are not the same because of who you were. We miss you.

My amazing, beautiful, accomplished son Cody, lost his battle with addiction 52 days before his 22nd birthday. He died of a heroin overdose in our home.  Our family is devastated.  We are still struggling to see the light. His time here-although brief, changed many lives. He was a beautiful soul who loved deeply & was loved in return. There are no words to describe his absence and our hearts are forever pierced with pain. We created his foundation to remember and guide others so they may find some healing. HeD Peace is our way of saying "his life mattered." 

I do harm reduction work full time, in a syringe exchange program. Over the years, we have lost so many beautiful humans. These folks were resilient, funny, loving, and wanted to be here. Naloxone saves lives, absolutely.  So do others things; being a kind healthcare worker, treating a drug user like a real person, furthering real harm reduction work...etc. Stigma and the war on people who use drugs kills. My friends could still be here if it wasn't for the pointless war on people who use drugs. Please take care of yourselves, you  matter.

Mark Williams was the love of my life and my best friend and better half. He could light up the world with his smile and he always went out of his way to talk to people and to help them. He was smart, funny and amazing and we lost him to the disease of addiction too soon. He will live in our hearts forever but I would give everything just to hold him and talk to him one more time.

K, NY, K, V, R, the list goes on. I hate that I can't remember. I hate that we didn't do enough for you. I miss you. You deserved better. 

"The Devil went down to Luzerne, he was lookin for a soul to steal." Hey Choe, I walked by the old spot recently and thought of you. Miss and love you, brother.

My son Torrey Jason Brown Sr. was 34 years old and passed away on December 21,2019 from his opioid addiction Torrey was prescribed oxycontin for pain in 2017 after he broke his ankle from a fall at work the construction company, he worked for required he take time off to heal.  Torrey had a history of addiction to alcohol and mixing this with opioids was a disaster that sent him spiraling into the world of active addiction using and abusing opiates, Torrey spent the next two years of his life in and out of inpatient and outpatient substance abuse treatment centers , Torrey shared with me that once he was not able to get his prescriptions filled from his PCP he turned to the streets to buy his drugs which were cheaper and easier to find.  His addiction started with a prescription. 
This experience was heart wrenching for me to watch and experience with him along with my 12- & 14-year-old granddaughters (his daughters). Our lives have been immensely affected and will never be the same, I cannot put into words the hurt I have in my heart losing my son to an overdose. 
Torrey will forever live in the hearts of myself, his children ,his 3 brothers and Family forever. 

This is my brother Cruz. I wish we had one more time together..to clear the air..to talk about things. Every day, every month, every year is just to much time going by without him in our lives. We lost him on earth to his Heroin Demon but God gained another beautiful Angel. Until we meet again keeping watching over us. Love you. 

RIP 
Riley Gale
February 5, 1985--August 24, 2020

The world lost an absolute treasure of a person with this guy.  I wish I had a more personal story or connection to share, but because of overdose I'm just left feeling like one of my heroes died and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
 
Really wish I had a chance to meet you man.  Thanks for everything you did, I hope you understood how much you meant to so many people.

My cousin Derrick got out of detox on a Friday, was going to enter treatment on Monday. He overdosed over the weekend, you know, trying to get the last one, little did he know it was the last one. He was someone who could have benefited Medical Assistant Treatment until he went into treatment. When miss him.

Everyday that I step into my office, I look at your picture on the wall.   Your passing keeps in perspective of why I continue to work in harm reduction.  Why I grind so hard to normalize access to life saving services like Overdose Prevention Education and Naloxone Distribution.   If only you didn't use alone, if only the pills you took didn't have fentanyl in them.  If only we found, you sooner to Narcan you.   Your spirt drives me to grind harder, I know you watch over us as we grieve your passing and give us strength to be impactful Harm Reduction Warriors in this crazy world we live in.    We love you, we miss you and will see you at the pearly gates when it's our time. 

     Matt's Story.  


Have you ever met a guy who's smile would light up a room.  Who made you feel like you found a long lost friend.  The kinda guy who would give you the shirt off his back.  That guy who would bring every stray dog home and make it a member of our family. 

That was my son, Matt.  He had that happy go lucky personality that drew people in and made them fall in love.  Unfortunately for Matt he never loved himself enough.  
Matt went on the become an excellent mechanic.  He moved to the beach, bought a home and opened his business.  His adult life appeared free of drugs.  He was an adult.  He was successful.  I took that deep breath and started to relax.  Matt loved life and was living it to the fullest. 
The beginning of his end began with a back injury.  He was lifting an engine and felt a pop.  The next day he could barely walk.  He called to let me know he had been to his doctor and was given Percocet and told to take it easy.  I knew his pain was real.

Matt struggled with his addiction to Percocet for 7 years.  During that time he lost everything he had worked so hard to gain.  His business closed 6 months after his injury.  He was abusing the pills and trying to continue to work on cars.  It was obvious to his steady customers that something was terribly wrong and they took their business elsewhere.  Mortgage payments were missed and his beach house was repossessed by the bank.  Everything he loved now gone. He came home to me. 
Our last words were spoken on a Friday night. My ears trained to pick up cues found none.  I love you mom, I love you Matt. For reasons my heart will never understand, Matt relapsed.   I heard the words that shattered my world.  Matt is dead.  Matt lost his battle on January 3rd, 2015. 
I’ve written a book called Letters To Matt that is now available on Amazon.  
I would give anything for a do over.  To rewind time knowing what I know now.  I would have held on tighter and never let him go. 💔

April 21, 2016.  57 years old.  Accidental fentanyl overdose.  

RIP His Royal Badness Prince Rogers Nelson

Whenever I facilitated a hep C coalition meeting and saw Paul walk in, I knew I was about to get some tough questions. He was one of our most active members and he never hesitated to remind people like me in "official" positions that treating people who use drugs with dignity is a life or death issue.  In his activism and community outreach, Paul saved lives - like how he generously shared his hep C story and in doing so helped change hep C treatment policies in Pennsylvania. When I got the call that he had died from an overdose, I thought how cruel it was that the systems Paul fought so hard to change had failed him. His words became a tragic prophecy: "I know for a fact that people die of stigma. They don’t die from heroin. You can’t treat a dead person.” I still keep a picture of Paul near my desk as a reminder to keep up the fight for change on his behalf.  

One of the last times we went out together. I know you said how much you loved it and how we should do it again soon. We were supposed to go check out Gettysburg that summer. I love and miss you so much Daddy. Forever and always.

This beautiful boy, our only child, was a straight-A student, gifted athlete, wonderful violinist, and the light of our lives. He was an exchange student in France, kind and funny, and was loved by a wide circle of friends, and cherished by his parents. Andy, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, and even 11 years later, not an hour goes by that I don't think of you and miss you. You were stolen from me by opiates, and I will dedicate the rest of my life trying to make you proud and working to save someone else's child.

The void created in our tribe is felt every holiday, every Sunday Dinner, every single day. But grief and sadness are overshadowed by anger at a society that refused to help. Anger that you sought help and despite having gainful employment, health insurance was not an option. I’m angry that your request for anxiety treatment was labeled as drug-seeking.  While we should be celebrating your future, we are plagued with the memory of your pleading  voice telling the hospital “If you discharge me (after 40 hours) I will use again, please help me”.  Angry that they put you out without a mental health plan and a worthless piece of paper recommending “intensive outpatient treatment” but no plan, no follow up, no recommendations on where to find help. They discharged you to flounder and figure this disease out on your own. I live with the images of parents who rushed to our ED. Anguished faces turned to relief after learning their child was still alive.  I live with the confusion that despite all my clinical training, years of experience, and financial resources, I couldn’t save my own child. I live with the guilt of knowing that after thirty years saving others, my own child died in my home while I slept.  A room where you should have been safe.  That you died after escaping the life, getting clean, coming home. I am angry, confused, guilty that you are dead because you helped the police, then they failed to protect you.  That you were used then discarded by both dealers and those sworn to protect because they lack the resources to do more than just clean up the carnage. Angry that dealers you fought so desperately to escape won by using a friend to trick you into opening the door and silencing you with enough fentanyl to kill 10 people.  Angry that police sworn to protect, wrote your death off with no investigation and six months later, when lab results came in proving your death was not self inflicted, it was too late.  I’m angry that society denies justice to those stigmatized by addiction. I will spend the rest of my life angry that every day parents join me in a battle driven by an apathetic society that continues to repeat this narrative 100 times a day. 

Austin was the third born of six children. He was also the first of two sons lost to overdose. He was an avid rock climber as a teen. Austin loved taking on any adventure or challenge. He had the most giving heart of any person you met. He was a gentle soul who loved with his whole heart. He would do anything possible to make another person happy. He was loyal to those he loved. He was a video blogger and tried to help anyone struggling through his videos. He was a momma’s boy who loved his momma without fault. He was the best uncle and his nephew’s best friend. He made the best sweet tea ever, in the eyes of his four year old nephew. Everyone is somebody’s someone. Austin was ours. Austin is missed and Austin is loved. 
05/04/1997-04/04/2020 FOREVER 22

Joshua was a son, brother (older and younger), an uncle, a godfather, and a best friend. He was fiercely protective of his little sister. He was a hard worker starting his first paying job at the age of 14. Joshua was a percussion player but favored the drums. Joshua loved to ride trick bikes. He was smarter then most his age and if something broke he could fix it. He was going to become an engineer and design baseball stadiums. Joshua could light up any room he entered as he was the true king of corny jokes. The one thing Joshua couldn't face was life without his brother. Joshua was ours and he is loved.
04/18/2000-04/01/2021 FOREVER 20

The thing about the fleeting beauty of a sunset is the comfort of knowing that, so long as you keep on living, you will likely see another. I wish I had the same reassurance about seeing your beauty again. If only I had a story to tell that could have compelled you to stay with us a little longer, simply to hear how it ends. But I would have tried to keep telling it to you forever. 

Ben Baker, 1981-2009

You have been traveling, i can see it in your eyes, the light of your will, bending in submission to the forces bringing us together.
I have been busy, arranging things, so that you might feel that you arrived at the right time, and at the right place.
So let us make a scratch on the wall of the cave, we could talk, we could make small talk, I’ll start by saying “I love you.”

The irony of it all is that 22 was your favorite number. And yet, 2022 will be the first year, in 18 years, that you’re not present in my daily life. 

You’re supposed to be here…. with your comedic antics and your warm hugs. You’re supposed to save lives at the hospital, and come home to remind us to be grateful and that we’re going to be okay. You’re supposed to twirl the girls on their tippy toes and throw your son in the air. Dammit. You were supposed to thrive this year. You were supposed to love. You were supposed to flourish.

You were not supposed leave us to do 22 without you.

This is a story of ADDICTION
April 20,1979-June 11, 2011

I received a phone call from the MSP that all parents dread receiving. I knew someday that we could get THAT call but we prayed it never would come. We had already experienced several precursor events; two overdoses resulting in the medical community shocking your heart to beat again, three suicide attempts before you were 18 y/o, or the time you had been shot 5x doing a drug buy. Five years you were clean and sober and I was so proud of you. I know how difficult it had been for you since the death of your Dad and Aunt June. A lot has happened since you went home to be with Jesus. The world has now seen a pandemic and your son Cole is now living with me. He has brought laughter into the home. We talk often, cry often, and laugh often about you. 

I share your story of fighting addiction 
and/or overcoming obstacles within our community, recovery groups or social media in hopes that I can encourage a family to fight for sobriety or just to take one more step.
Your grandmother, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends continue to believe that they should’ve done more to save you.  I know now that it had to be you that saved YOU.
Your son has to figure out how to be a man in this messed up world without his dad or grandpa to guide him. 
Your Mother has learned from mistakes she made while parenting. I didn’t understand the depth of your depression.  I didn’t realize the social stigma that mental illness or addiction holds within our family and communities.
God has given me the privilege of raising your son, my Grandson. Cole has brought laughter into my life and  our home. He is quite a prankster and he has a joke for everything and anyone that will listen. He is so intelligent and has made the honor roll in school this year. Cole has made Life rank in BSA Scouting and loves his Scout family.
There will always be several empty chairs at our family events.
To every Father, Mother, Sons, Daughters, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, and Cousins remember that your family loves you not that DRUG you crave. 
Love you all that are in the fight of your life.
I love you sweet baby Boy of mine.

Oh Jody, how often you are thought of and how much you are missed and loved... over and over I think "what if".... mostly, what if I had just a couple more days to connect with you in person. I look into your Christians eyes and I see you... it's so difficult... he's sweet and smart. This monster of a disease took you but only after you suffered and struggled and fought for decades. It stole so much from you and eventually stole you from us. I fight the stigma and shame associated with SUD, and educate others, I advocate for and provide harm reduction where and when I'm able, I provide recovery support services through the nonprofit I volunteer with. I do this in your memory in the hopes that I might make a difference,  make the connection in time to save someone else's loved one, when I couldn't save my own. I trust you know how much you are loved and are going to rest and have healing for your continuing journey. We love and miss you beautiful Jody. 

This is the last photo of you. You took it while waiting for me to pick you up from the jail. 20 days there after you asked for it so you could seek sobriety. 28 hours later you were gone. It should have been treatment, not jail. It took me 14 months for me to get your phone from evidence, and this haunting, final picture was there. I wish I could go back to this day, 12/13/16. Because the days since 12/14/16 have been hollowed out with sadness. I would listen more, lecture less, and hug you often, my beautiful Brittany. You are forever loved, never forgotten, and always, always missed. 

Making our rounds up Allen and 1st Ave we got the table setup in Tompkins Square and terror squad is holding it down with the healers, hippies and hep cats, offering reiki and ear point acupuncture by the chess tables, sage burning, and folx lining up for Hare Krishna vegan food which was surprisingly good especially the days they served cake. I'm grateful I got to know you. Thank you for showing me and many others the way around. You were kind, generous, and strong. You were a brother to many of us, Ed. We miss you. I'm not much for religion but I got a good feeling you're smiling down on us as you rest in paradise. 

How much heavier is the heart to know that we lost one of our own, on our own watch. We were robbed of the opportunity to hold you, and breathe life to you, as you did for us. The world was brighter with you in it, Eva. We love you and miss you. 

Joseph Petrillo May 2, 1962-June 4, 2021
Joseph (Joey) was a beloved son to Roselle and Joseph, step son to Charles Quinn, brother to Katherine and Marissa, beloved uncle to Lola Piccolo and brother-in-law to Lorenzo. There is a big whole in the hearts of those whose lives Joey touched. Joey loved nature in particular he loved Upstate New York. He was an avid fisherman both fly and reel. He loved to be alone in the path less woods of Delaware County New York. 
Joey also loved motorcycles and had been riding since the tender age of 12 when he bought his first Yamaha mini bike. He was also a collector of antiques and he loved to restore antique furniture. Joey lived in a 120 year old brownstone in Jersey City. He was in the process of stripping all the beautiful woos accents and restoring them to their former elegance and beauty. 
Joey we will miss you forever. And we will also wish we had a little more time with you. 
We are forever broken hearted.

'It opens your heart. It breaks the heart open. Our hearts have been closed, because we've closed them.  We've defended ourselves against pain. And this opens them.  It doesn't always hurt.  But when it really cracks open, it hurts.' Rest in paradise, Dylan. <3 

My friend Dave made this portrait in tribute to you, brother Michael K. Williams. Your talent and realness were magnetic. You had so many gifts to offer the world. I wish we'd offered you the support you needed to keep thriving and bringing your magic into our lives. 
image credit: www.davidcooperart.com

Our son Dustin was a beautiful person; intelligent, funny, and so many other things.  We miss him everyday and continue to wonder what his contributions would have been to this world had he not gone to heaven at the age of 25. We give him over to God and look forward to being reunited in heaven.

Benjamin Merritt 1986-2017

Too long … too long since I’ve heard you call me Mom, felt your hug, heard your laugh, seen your number on my phone. Too long since we shared family time, lunch and a meaningful conversation often filled with humor and wit. Too long since I’ve seen you play with the dogs and your nieces, watched you play tennis and soccer, and soak in the beauty of the island. Too long since you enjoyed your favorite sitcoms, pizza, nature and friends. Too long since your reflective observations and insights enriched our lives.  Too long since your kind and generous heart strived to help others. Too long since I could hope that you would find the health and wellness you worked tirelessly to achieve. Your persistent determination and fight continue to motivate us. You are the bravest person I know. Your unwavering faith provided strength, guidance, and hope.  Living without you will always be too long. Your presence and your absence are felt each day.  Your life, like thousands of others, was tragically and needlessly cut short. We have joined the too many families impacted by an epidemic that must be acknowledged and better addressed through increased awareness, decreased stigma, and more innovative resources. 

Our precious Ben, you have left us with many gifts and lessons learned. The years of struggling taught us about perseverance, love, and hope. Your generous spirit and accepting nature inspire us to live on for you, love unconditionally, support others, and work to prevent continued suffering and loss. We will always cherish the 31 years we shared together.  Our love is timeless and without end.

I think you’d be amused to know that you are also memorialized in a local Denver newspaper article about public ‘disturbances’ caused by ‘urban travelers’. It was pretty good media coverage as far as these things go. You are displaying your acceptance letter to an institution of higher learning while flying signs to promote your side hustle telling bad jokes for 25c. What an odd, endearing, multifaceted person of interest you were. I never could fully figure you out and that was part of your charm. I miss your stutter, your skateboard, your courage, and commitment to community. I still can’t believe we lost you so young. I know you’re causing a ruckus wherever you now are. Rest in power, Yossi

https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/06/17/war-drugs-turns-50-today-its-time-make-peace/

https://www.kff.org/policy-watch/substance-use-issues-are-worsening-alongside-access-to-care/

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/10/26/nearly-half-of-americans-have-a-family-member-or-close-friend-whos-been-addicted-to-drugs/

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2022/01/19/recent-surge-in-u-s-drug-overdose-deaths-has-hit-black-men-the-hardest/

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2021/20211117.htm

https://www.kff.org/statedata/mental-health-and-substance-use-state-fact-sheets/

https://www.whitehouse.gov/ondcp/briefing-room/2021/05/28/biden-harris-administration-calls-for-historic-levels-of-funding-to-prevent-and-treat-addiction-and-overdose/

https://www.commonwealthfund.org/blog/2021/spike-drug-overdose-deaths-during-covid-19-pandemic-and-policy-options-move-forward

https://www.commonwealthfund.org/blog/2022/overdose-deaths-surged-first-half-2021-underscoring-urgent-need-action

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/injury.htm

https://drugpolicy.org/resource/drug-war-mass-incarceration-and-race-englishspanish

My cousin Dylan and I were two months apart. We were two peas in a pod, a brotherly love. Dylan loved the Saskatchewan boreal forest, dancing, travelling, music, chocolate, festivals, tree planting, snowboarding, psychedelics. Sometime on the first weekend in April 2019 Dylan overdosed on fentanyl alone in his apt. There was a naloxone kit on top of his fridge. He knew about harm reduction so there are so many questions left behind. Love you forever Dylan. 

Our sons Eric and Robert Franklin both died from heroin overdoses in 2012.  They were both talented musicians.  They were smart, caring, funny, kind and were both loved.  They were robbed of a long life because of Opioids.  They were happy and healthy until drugs took over.  Like many young people, they thought they were just having fun.  Partying.  Enjoying life.  
Robert was 24, he spent some of his young adult life in prison because of stupid drugs.   Eric was 26,  he was just getting his life together, but somehow blamed himself for his brother's death.  They did everything together, including heroin.  
They are missed!  

Today I remembered your smile and great big heart.  You loved life and the people around you. While in treatment you admitted that life has not always been easy; but you wanted to make change for your children.   Your transparency during your journey to recovery touched many lives.  Your sense of humor would light up the group room.  Although you struggled with staying sober; your heart for others remained the same. You will be missed dearly. 

This is what I have been doing since you left us my beloved Alex. This foundation was created to honor you , keep your essence alive and raise money to save kids’ lives. We’ve donated $58,000 in memory of you. There has not been one day in the  past 1,868 days that I haven’t thought of you. I love you and miss you more than words can express . The hole in my heart will never heal because your presence is missed entirely by all that love you . Rest easy my beautiful son and if life is going to come full circle I will see you once again. So wait for me with open arms and we will hug until the end of time. Love forever Mom 💙💙💙

Hannah Catherine Young Estep
About a 6 months after losing Hannah someone asked me what I missed most about her, I immediately responded “everything”. 
Thinking back on that now, I don’t think I would respond quite the same way. What I miss most is Hannah’s loud, obnoxious laugh, her ability to make me do the same, her sunshine smile and her hugs.
The year before Hannah decided to get her drivers license and she chose to be an Organ Donor. My sweet girls selfless decision, a year earlier, saved four lives. She was able to gift her beautiful heart, kidneys, pancreas and liver. She lives on through her last ultimate gift, the gift of life. 
That’s the kind of child she was, kind and generous. Hannah was funny and bright. She loved her family fiercely. She had this big love for babies, food, movies and music. 
Hannah’s disease gripped her from a tender age, she was in and out of treatment starting at age 15. She was like so many others who suffer from Substance Abuse Disorder, she wanted to live a life free of substances.
When you lose your person you spend a lot of time thinking, wondering what you could have done differently. I know I did all the things, I was supportive, loving, as understanding as I knew how to be. I educated myself, read the books, joined Nar-Anon, attended the programs that rehabs offered, I opened up and was honest about her Substance abuse. 
Looking back if there was one thing I could do differently I would say “don’t use alone“. Go to a treatment center, call a trusted sober friend, pick them up/drive them around, sit on the other side of bathroom/bedroom door, or call a trusted friend if that makes you uncomfortable, but never ever use alone. 
I know this goes against everything we’re taught about enabling, but simply telling someone to not use doesn’t work, it’s not realistic. 

Hannah, 
I miss you with every fiber of my being, every beat of my heart. There’s this vital  part of me that is missing yet I’m searching for it, and it’s always just out of reach. 
It’s good to be your mom, 
I love you sweet girl, 
Mom 

Always 19

This photo of my beautiful Daughter Ashley Romero was taken a week before she was poisoned by a counterfeit oxy containing fentanyl. The original FB post with her picture read "Today is a good day!" Little did she know, one week later she would found breathless in the same exact seat where she had taken this photo. Sometimes there are no tomorrow's. Dance with the angels my sweet girl. I love you, MOM

Tanner died due to fentanyl poisoning.  His laugh was contagious and his heart was huge.  Our family will never be the same. Never Alone Ohio was built from our loss and continues to be a voice for the vulnerable and marginalized population. 

Travis was a loving son, a loyal friend, and an avid Green Bay Packers fan. He was a smart, funny, caring, and hardworking young man. Described by his closest friends, “Travis was a great friend with a huge heart. He was understanding and caring, loyal and loving. He made people feel comfortable. He was always willing to listen to someone’s problems to try and help them find a solution. He made his friends feel like they mattered and the focus was on each other when they were together. Travis was brave. He was outgoing, witty, and loved to make people laugh. If he wanted to have a good time, he went out of his way to ensure everyone was going to have a great time as well. He always knew how to make you smile.” ❤️

Written by my youngest son about his brother. "My true inspiration, and my role model. He is the reason why I am who I am today. He taught be how to be strong. He taught me how to be a man, even after he left us for a more peaceful life above the clouds. I never took a moment for granted, I can assure you. I couldn’t be more proud to say I’m his little brother. I’m my brother’s keeper. 
Some of you could easily say nasty thing about those who struggle with addiction of any kind, but at the end of the day, they are still the same as you or I. A person, with a beating heart and a purpose. Please don’t judge those for making different decisions than you. Please don’t assume the answer to their problems and demons is as easy as you might think it is. Just love them and encourage them. Be the helping hand whenever you can be."

You were generous in offering a helping hand, friendly greetings, and a wealth of knowledge to those wise enough to listen. Dedicated, organized, at times, cantankerous, you ran a tight ship around the exchange, ready with multiple sticky notes of what’s needed for the next supply run. I remember how striking and beautiful your handwriting was. I miss listening to your stories of how the neighborhood has changed for better or worse, the experience of injecting drugs across the span of different epidemics, before the construction and consecration of these sanctuaries. You reminded us how we lucky we are. You touched so many of our lives.  We were lucky to have known you. Rest In peace, John.

'So I may as well make peace with it.  It's easier to go with the flow of that particular river than it is to try to fight it. There is that saying, I don't know where it comes from, but that meditation is a spiritual practice that prepares us for death. But also, you know, if you look at the world, what you see is things appearing and disappearing, and humans are a part of the whole of that, and humans appear and they disappear. We are a part of the whole and everything in the whole transforms all the time. It changes form. Transfigures.' Rest in paradise, Steve. We miss you.  

'I have been told that at least a dozen times. A dozen times: that you've had six months to live. I have been told to call a crematorium and find out how much it would cost...to be cremated, because I had maybe a month or six weeks, and that I needed to know that, so that I could pay the money up-front...before I die.  And I have made the call to the crematorium and I found out that it was $750, thank you very much.'  

Miss your restless heart, Will

I’ll never know how you hid everything, quite fucking well, you madman genius. Sherlock Holmes of the best time in town- you were the most fun person in all the world with the most beautiful laugh. I should’ve taken more pictures. I will miss you forever.   Xoxo

My cousin and best friend Tony was one of the kindest, silliest people I've been blessed to know. He was a beloved nurse who bonded with each and every patient, going out of his way to make their hospital stays a little more comfortable or less lonely. I miss him every day.

This was our last Christmas. We didn't know that within a few months you would die from an overdose. Together, we tried to get the help you wanted. We failed; and you died alone. I learned that street drugs are easier to get than health care. You deserved to live. I miss you terribly. 

What can I say about my Richie? We had the most beautiful soul a man could have, he would have made a great father and husband. For sure he was a wonderful son, he just got in too deep dabbling with something he shouldn’t have and died of an overdose of Xanax and meth.  As a momma you never think about losing a child, but when it happens to you you’re grief never ends. I miss my son so much! Rest in Heaven my love, your always on my mind and thanks for the tokens from Heaven.  Richie Forever #26 

I had no idea this would be the last time I got to dance with my big brother, Stephen. At the young age of 21, he lost his life way too early. Heroin took away his chance to get married to his high school sweet heart, start his own family, and grow old. I just got engaged and am beginning my journey to plan our wedding. It breaks my heart to know that Stephen does not get to meet my soon to be husband and share a dance with me on my wedding day. Even though Stephens situation cannot change, it brings me joy that more people are focusing on overdose prevention and overall harm reduction strategies for people who use drugs. Stephen would be happy to see that stigma is being reduced around drug user health and that more people have the opportunity to live & grow old with the ones they love.

Mitch Hedberg.  "The wall is relentless."

Son, grandson, brother, uncle, friend. Chip took everyone for what they were. Even in his darkest days, he knew how to take pleasure in the happiness of others. And he knew how to support them – whether that was listening, giving advice, sympathizing, just “being there,” or simply letting them be themselves. Though his light is dimmed, his legacy of love, compassion, and harm reduction carries on.

My brother, Andrew, who fought his battle with addiction for 10 years. He passed away July of 2019 from an accidental fentanyl overdose.  

I used to work at a homeless youth program and so many of our people died from OD each year—all very young—that it seems crazy to  mention just one.  I’m thinking of all the unfolding and all the transformation that didn’t get a chance to happen within each person who died and for the others whose lives they would have touched and changed.   All this young energy that had only just begun to affect the world and then stopped and froze.   

I think of a young man—A bright eyed jumpy and whip-funny folksinger, toting his guitar all over the country connecting everybody, challenging everybody, including everybody, taking everybody seriously so long as they were talking seriously.  He took his brand of love and fury wherever he went in song and in life.  He lived on the street and burned his face on a heating vent while overdosing on a freezing night.  He wore the scar like a badge and wanted it to be seen when he testified at a city council hearing we were doing advocating for harm reduction and the lives of youth on the streets.  Waiting to testify, he started going into withdrawal and had to walk away before he spoke, disappointed and mad that he didn’t have the opportunity to really educate those with power,  to shock them, convince them, move them, push them to change the city.  That was the last I saw of him before he died trying to influence and change us for the good of all of us. 

This is my beautiful son Joe.  He was born on July 27,  1992 and died on April 14, 2017.

He was only 24 years old when he died of an accidental overdose.

He had a big heart and a smile that could light  up the whole room.  He had so much of his life ahead of him and so much yet to do.  

The week before he died,  he had an assessment completed at an inpatient treatment facility.  There were no beds available.  Had they admitted him that day, he might be alive today.  

He is 



My son was smart, funny, a wonderful uncle and new dad. His life was cut short at 33 by an accidental  fentanyl overdose. He is missed every single day. 


Michael James Knapp was the 2nd oldest of 4 boys and a girl. He got his Masters degree and was a supervisor at United Parcel Service.  Hard working,  loyal, fun loving, and a generous man, he  had a smile that lit up the room. He tragically lost his life to an overdose at the young age of 31. He is dearly missed, and deeply loved. 3/9/85-7/6/16

Tyler was kind, big-hearted and generous.  The spark in his eye and genuine smile could light up a room or a mood immediately. He was unable to say no to a dare and could charm his way in or out of unimaginable situations.

His passion was music. In high school he played in the marching band, jazz band, & concert band. He thoroughly enjoyed dressing up in the band uniform, and dressy snappy in general.

He was looking forward to finding the right woman, getting married & having children. He wanted a daughter. He wanted to name her Olive.  

He would have been an amazing Father. he should be here.


Joel was fun loving bright and adventurous. He was completing his engineering degree and had previously gone through a journeyman course and received his electricians license. He had a beautiful girlfriend AND then had a foot injury and was prescribed oxycontin. He had 2 refills of 20 pills each. He was hooked at that point. He had alienated a friend who was hooked on pills because he hated how that person was. WELL long story short He became hooked and 4 months after that 1st PRESCRIBED pill my sweet boy was gone. He took a pill laced with fentanyl. Thank you big pharma for your irresponsible actions that left me broken and took my child. 

This is Jimmy. He was the sweetest, kindest soul. He'd bring me food to my work and my house for no reason, other than he wanted to spend a few minutes with me. He was always caring for other people, paying a bill when someone was down. Even though recovery escaped him, he supported me in mine and always told me how proud he was of me. I'll always remember sharing turkey and dressing with him on my front porch. I miss you Jimmy!  Love, Bethany

This is Brevon. Brevon left behind a family that loved him. Although I only knew Brevon for a very short time, the time I spent alone with him definitely left a mark on my life. I miss you Nikki Sixx! Love, Bethany

This is Amanda. Amanda left behind a beautiful teenage daughter Trenady. Trenady's Dad died from suicide when she was very small, and drugs took her mom away from her. Amanda joins her son Kevin in Heaven.

OverdoseMemorial